The holiday season is upon us in full force. Today I am going to abandon the economically sound advice on gift giving and walk you through the Hammacher Schlemmer guide to obscene extravagant gift giving.
Looking for Christmas lawn decoration that will out do your neighbors and block out your home from the random passerby? Try out this slightly pornographic Snowman with his come hither pose…Guaranteed to add a little “sparkle” to your Christmas.

This handsome gent can be yours for the low price of 199.95!
Trying to figure out what to get that random hockey player in your family? Look no further, H.S. has the answer for you; buy them their very own Hockey Rink. That sounds like a sensible buy to me….

Having their/your own rink will save you several of those George Washingtons! However you may want to double your insurance to cover all the injuries that will be sustained by their friends on your property. But who is looking at costs when you can have dozens of lasting memories. Make those memories yours for only 529.95
Now the following two are my personal favorite from the catalog.
The Hands Free Hair Rejuvenator!

I can not tell you how many times I have been out and about thinking “Wow, I wish I could rejuvenate my hair right now.” or “Man, I could do with a little rejuvenation in the hair department today.” What really puzzles me about this product, other than the red glowing suction cups is that this “photo-biostimulation therapy” is used by professional physicians. What physicians are strapping on this hair helmet and charging 200 dollars an hour? Either way, you can have your own stimulation for 699.95
The Light Therapy Skin Revitalizer

This gadget claims to “bathe the face with the wavelengths that stimulate cell growth and the production of collagen and elastins, chemicals that keep the skin feeling supple.” Supple skin with technology developed by NASA! Can’t go wrong there. Wait a minute, is this what the scientists are doing since the government shut down the space program? I wonder what would happened if I wore the Hair Rejuvenator WHILE revitalizing my skin. Probably nothing good. This little gadget is 349.95. Such a small sum for supple skin from NASA.
There you have it. The catalog for obnoxiously expensive gifts. I am still wondering how I got on this catalog mailing list. Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrel gave up on me long ago.