Breathing Dinner

August 26, 2011 by Leave a Comment

I do not enjoy cooking.

I know that I have said this before but the fact remains the same. I hate cooking.  And it’s horrible truth because it conflicts directly with my love to eat. I  sit for hours reading Paula Deen, the Pioneer Woman, and countless blogs that have mastered the art of making good food.  I have romantic visions of myself sitting on a patio I don’t own, drinking wine with friends that I don’t have and laughing at lifes’ complexides while plates of delicious food sit before us.  Plates filled with food that I just whipped up in my spare time.

My vision is really a catalog add for Pottery Barn mixed with Bobby Flay.

Occasionally I feel the urge to cook and as long as I have most of the ingredients readily available, there is no holding me back.  The pots and pans are pulled out, the oven is preheated to the magic 350 and I am determined to make a dinner that all will enjoy.  A recipe that I can turn around post about here on my blog.

I finally gave in to these cooking urges even though my cooking common sense told me not to.  I looked up a Paula Deen recipe that was sure to please and feed the masses.

The cooking went well and my dish came out perfectly.  It was worth warming up my house in the August heat. I proudly distributed dinner to my children and we all sat down to enjoy a family meal together…..  Now, I am not sure how many of you have read Calvin and Hobbes but my children must have found mine and took notes from Calvin’s dinner time etiquette.  Just seconds after their first bite the fake vomiting noises and suddenly they both asked if it was breathing.

Bobby Flay needs to be my personal chef to avoid faces like these

Cute kid huh?.

See that plate.

He still ate it even if it was breathing.

Filed Under: Complaining, Cooking Tagged With: , , ,

When is summer over?!

June 28, 2011 by 4 Comments

I hate the summer.

Its hot

Its always sunny

I live in the land of heat

There is no grass that grows here naturally

Its mutant grass

Summer stinks when you are on a budget

No beach

No Mickey Mouse

No heading out of town to escape the norm

Lazy, crazy, hazy dayz of summer is not my idea of a good time

You can’t really cook anything in the house because it will get too warm inside

We are trapped inside so our skin does melt off in 120 degree heat

I have green envy….

Not envy for money

Envy for trees

Envy for water

Maybe it isn’t green Envy. It’s East Coast envy.

We could do crafts

Alot of crafts

But too many crafts is bad for your health

I shouldn’t be complaining

It could be worse

I could be living a life without Air Conditioning.

And without the internet.

That would be a true nightmare.

I will deal. 

It’s June 28

Only 94 days until October

Filed Under: Complaining, Hot, summer Tagged With:

Kindergarten mom should be an Olympic Sport.

January 13, 2011 by 1 Comment
 Image from Google images

Are you a Kindergarten mom? Have you been a Kindergarten mom?  If you have answered yes to these two questions than you may know what I am talking about.  If you are not at that stage, look out!  There are so many hoops to jump through, 500 yard dashes, and other  that you should start stretching now…

This is my first go around of being a Kindergarten mom.  When the year started I had dreams of working in the classroom, helping the teacher, helping the children, and of course being the favorite class mom.  Those dreams were shattered in about a month.  These moms are competitive.  Olympic competitive.  They all had the same dreams I did and they are willing to sign up for anything and everything to be THE mom.  I had no idea what was coming.  I did not have my running shoes on to keep up…

Not all of them are this crazy level of competitive.  Some are completely normal and others have no interest in working with a bunch of people under 4 feet.  No judgment, I understand.  I have decided that there are stages of crazy competitiveness and I have placed them in levels.  Please remember this is all based on my on opinions and not meant to hurt feelings.

Level 1: The Constant Mom.  She is ALWAYS there.  EVERY DAY.  She shows up early and stays late…She can almost be the teacher.  I am curious about the level 1 mom.  How does she do this?  Does she not have any other kiddos at home?  Is she there because this is her last baby?  Is it overprotective?  I will say the constant mom intimidates me.  I can not and frankly do not want to be there every day, all day.  I enjoy the time my son is away at school, a lot.  I don’t particularly want to be covered in glue, glitter, and little bits of paper for the rest of the day.

Level 2: The Wanna-be Constant Mom:  This mom wants to be there everyday but there are circumstances that are preventing her from working in the classroom.  I have learned that this mom should be approached with caution and maybe something shiny to distract her when the claws come out.  This mom is ready to eat your young in order for her’s to succeed and is completely willing to bad mouth you, the teachers, the other moms, your cousin, your dog…. you get the point. Now I am sure there are some Level 2s that are not ready to eat little children, they just want to be in the classroom as much as a Level 1 but they can’t.  I know a level 2, she scares me.

Level 3:The Every Other Week Mom:  I am a level 3.  This mom likes to work in the classroom, enjoys the goings on but is also fine not being there.  There is no hidden competition.  We like being there to make sure everything is running smoothly, help the teacher, meet the friends of our children and let’s face it, laugh at the funny things they say.  I do believe that we level 3s need to stick together because those Level 2s are out to get us….like Jaws.

Level 4: The No Thanks Mom: This is NOT a bad level.  A LOT of moms work and they can’t be there so they try to help out everywhere they can outside of class! It’s all good to me ladies! There are also some moms that are just fine with staying home with or without younger kiddos that just have no interest in working in the classroom. Just beware those Level 1s and 2s may be bad mouthing you….however if I am there I will defend you guys!

Now if Kindergarten mom was an Olympic sport level 1 would be gold, 2 would be silver, and 3 bronze. I am A-OKAY with bronze.  In fact, Level 1 should beware with that gold. The Level 2 mom is calling Tonya Harding right now and discussing how to take out your knee so that your classroom days are over….

Filed Under: Complaining, Humor Tagged With: , ,

Its been a long day and it only 12

September 29, 2010 by 2 Comments

We warned him.  We begged him.  Please eat your green beans or you will eat them tomorrow for breakfast.  He is stubborn and strong willed.  I  documented the stages of grieving…maybe someone can commiserate.

The Beans

The first rejection

Ooooh…. The pain… The Suffering

Guess what… We still have these stinkin’ beans.  I have a feeling that my will is starting to wane

Filed Under: author, boys, Complaining Tagged With: ,

Homemade Dishwasher Detergent

May 4, 2010 by 7 Comments

Cascade destroyed my dishes. We typically use the Cascade packs but we ran out and we are on a budget.  Our local CVS was having a sale on the regular Cascade powder detergent and I went ahead and bought two boxes.   I promptly went home and started a load of dishes… here is one of our bowls…

Can you even handle that?!  YUCK!

I was shocked.  I thought at first it MUST be our dishwasher.  I ran an empty load with no soap to rinse it out. Second load, with cascade and two dishes – The exact same turn out.

Well, I saw this as an opportunity to try my hand at homemade Dishwasher detergent.  I found the “how to” online and went to work…

1/2 cup Borax (20 Mule)
1/2 cup Baking Soda (the kind you cook with)
1/4 cup Kosher salt
4 packets of Unsweetened Lemonade Kool-aid (for the citric acid)

I loaded it was so excited to see the results!  AND…. It sucked. My dishes came out clean but a little cloudy and you could still feel the powder stuff on the dishes.  Don’t get me wrong, it was better than Cascade but I wanted clean sparkly dishes.

I finally admitted defeat the other day.  I was desperately trying to justify it and like the results AND show my husband he was wrong for thinking it wouldn’t be great.  I pulled out one more load of grimy feeling dishes and said “This sucks the big one!”  I went to the store today and got Gel dishwasher detergent. 

Filed Under: Complaining, DIY Tagged With: , ,

The Sound of Silence – Giveaway X 2 and I am a big fat liar.

January 13, 2010 by 18 Comments

The kids are out with Daddy and I thought I would take this wonderful time of silence and blog before running out to get dinner for movie night.

Two Things on the plate today

1. A little insight into my family for you.  We have a weekly movie night.  Each week, on one of my husbands nights off, we throw a couple of pizzas in the oven and pop in a family friendly movie.  We started the tradition last year and my kids LOVE IT.  They love that they get to eat pizza in front of the television and the added bonus is that my husband and I sit and watch it with them.  It is a cheap and wonderful way to have family time.  My kiddos look forward to it every week.  Well, we are now hitting a problem.  We are running out of movies to watch.  My husband and I have no problem with kid movies but there is a limit of how much we can stand.  So I need some suggestions… Does anyone have any great kiddo movies?  I will tell you right now – NO Wiggles (they freak me out) and nothing with Spongebob.  I hate that sponge thing….  I am supposed to be headed to Blockbuster right now and I am dreading it… UGH-

2. Want to know what I was doing at 3am last night?  Not sleeping and it wasn’t anything fun with the hubby.  I was up, sitting here, browsing the internet.  I tossed and turned for hours and finally gave in.  I grabed a bit of chocolate, Bakers Chocolate, (so we all know where those extra calories went)and surfed the web.  I hate insomnia! I don’t know where it came from but it really bugs me. Not to mention, it really isn’t helping the junk in the trunk.

OH ok – I lied – there are two more things I want to mention….

Does everyone remember the Domestic Dork from SITS?  I joined her V-day exchange so I am expecting a suprise from a fellow blogger!   Her idea inspire me. So starting on January 31st I  am doing a giveaway – I am going to be giving away a movie! It is a really GOOD movie so stayed tuned!!!

Oh and I would like you guys to go and check out The Coffee Shop - She is doing a Starbucks card giveaway!   I am not quite sure why I am telling you all this because it lowers my chances of getting it… Yes, I am that selfish with coffee.

Lots of words and no pictures today – I hope you read this much!

P.S. Hope there are no typos because I don’t feel like spell checking or grammar checking today.

Filed Under: Complaining, giveaways Tagged With:

I miss my pretty bed

January 9, 2010 by 3 Comments

Do remember this….

You have had a really long day and you are exhausted.  You come in from work, put your stuff down on the kitchen table and grab a quick bite out of the fridge followed by a long sigh.  After you have had enough food to just sustain yourself until morning you shuffle off to bed with a good book or good movie.  Change into your PJS and slip under your clean, soft, great smelling sheets…. AHH Relief is almost instantaneous…

Flash Forward to present

You come in from work/late playdate/running errands and you are exhausted.  The bed is calling your name but you have two little people (that you affectionately call your children) begging for dinner and a movie.  You open the fridge hoping to find something quick and healthy to cook because every time you think about making your kiddos Chicken Nuggets again the words “Obesity Epidemic” flash across your mind.   After you get a semi decent meal into the little tummies and then off to bed, you grab that good book/good movie and head to your bed.
BUT WAIT- This bed is not what you were dreaming of… there is a pile of laundry (from this morning) that needs to be folded, Star Wars George is sprawled on top of the laundry, and the bed isn’t even made.  “Whatever,” you think and throw the laundry and Star Wars George on a chair and try to arrange the pillows in a comfy position.  You pull back the sheets and “Wait a second… Is that food?!…no, no, just a crayon…” Climb in and stretch out.  “HUH?! Hold the phone there is something cold on my feet… Seriously three hot wheels cars?!  I told them these needed to be in the toy box this morning!”

By the time you are officially comfortable and in position for whatever relaxing moment you have planned you have a tiny pile next to YOUR side of the bed…Cars, stuffed animals, crayons…insert toy of choice here…

This was me last night….

I miss my nice, clean, untoyed sheets. I know many say I will miss these years but I don’t think I will ever miss finding suprises in my bed.

Will you?!

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